One day a Jewish man, a Hindu man, and a lawyer all arrived at their hotel to find that there had been a mix-up with the bookings, and that there was only one room left for them to share. The manager explained that this room only had two beds, but that there was a barn at a neighboring farm which the farmer, an old friend of his, would let one of them sleep in free of charge.
They complained a bit, but since there was nowhere else to go, the Jewish man graciously said he’d sleep in the barn. The Hindu man and the lawyer were just settling down to sleep in their room, when there was a knock on the door. It was the Jewish man. “I’m sorry,” he said, “but there’s a pig in that barn and because I’m Jewish I feel uncomfortable about sharing the barn with it.”
“No problem,” said the Hindu man. “I’ll sleep out there instead.” So off he went to the barn, leaving the lawyer and the Jewish man to share the room. They were just settling down to sleep, when there was a knock on the door. It was the Hindu man. “I’m sorry,” he said, “but there’s a cow in that barn and because I’m a Hindu I feel uncomfortable about sharing the barn with it.”
The lawyer grudgingly agreed to give up his bed and stomped off to the barn, leaving the Jewish man and the Hindu man to share the room. They were just settling down to sleep, when there was a knock on the door. It was the cow and the pig.
a nun and a priest were traveling thru the dessert on the back of a huge camel.
on the second day of their journey the camel bellowed twice, rolled on it’s side and died.
the priest said to the nun “we are in dire straights here. we could possibly die”.
“yes, father, i fear you are correct” the nun replied. “let up pray for deliverance”.
2 hours later the priest said “sister, it looks like we may be joining the Lord soon. since we are close to death…..i have never seen adult female breasts. may i see yours?”
the nun replied “father, i have never seen an erect male . i’ll show you mine if i can see yours”.
they both flashed each other.
the priest then said “sister, minecan be life giving if inserted in the right place”.
the nun replied “oh yeh? then stick it in this camel and let’s get the hell out of here!”
A nun walks into a bus and sits behind the driver and says, “I have just one regret before I die.”
The bus driver asks “What might that be?”, she says “I have never had sex, but I can’t have sex with a married man because that would be a sin.”
The bus driver says, “I’m not married.”
The Nun says, “I have to die a virgin so I will have to take it in my ass.”
Being the only two in the bus they went to the back and took care of business.
When they were done the bus driver says to the nun, “I have a confession to make, I’m married.”
The nun say “I also have a confession to make, my name is Tom and I’m going to a costume party!”
A guy decides that maybe he’d like to have a pet and goes to a pet shop.
After looking around he spots a parrot sitting on a little perch; it doesn’t have any feet or legs. The guy says out loud, “Geez, I wonder what happened to this parrot?”
“I was born this way,” says the parrot. “I’m a defective parrot.”
“Ha, ha,” the guy laughs. “It sounded like this parrot actually understood what I said and answered me.”
“I understand every word,” says the parrot. “I am a highly intelligent and thoroughly educated bird.”
“Yeah?” the guy asks. “Then answer this: how do you hang onto your perch without any feet?”
“Well,” the parrot says, “this is a little embarrassing, but since you asked, I will tell you. I wrap my little parrot penis around this wooden bar, kind of like a little hook. You can’t see it because of my feathers.”
“Wow,” says the guy, “you really can understand and answer; can’t you?”
“Of course. I speak both Spanish and English. I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any subject: politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy. And I am especially good at ornithology. You should buy me; I am a great companion.”
The guy looks at the $200.00 price tag. He says. “I can’t afford that.”
“Pssst,” the parrot hisses, motioning the guy over with one wing. “Nobody wants me because I don’t have any feet. You can get me for $20.00; just make an offer.”
The guy offers twenty dollars and walks out with the parrot. Weeks go by and the parrot is sensational. He’s funny; he’s interesting; he’s a great pal, he understands everything, sympathizes, and gives good advice. The guy is delighted.
One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot says, “Pssst,” and motions him over with one wing. The guy goes up close to the cage. “I don’t know if I should tell you this or not,” says the parrot, “but it’s about your lover and the mailman.”
“What?” asks the guy.
“Well,” the parrot says, “when the mailman came to the door today, your lover greeted him in a pair of briefs that showed everything and kissed him on the mouth.”
“What happened then?” asks the guy.
“Then the mailman came into the house and put his hand on your lovers crotch and began petting him all over,” reports the parrot.
“My God!” the guy says. “Then what?”
“Then he pulled down the briefs, got down on his knees and began to lick him, starting with his chest, slowly going down and down.” The parrot pauses for a long time…
“What happened? What happened?” says the frantic guy.
“That’s what p***** me off. I don’t know.” said the parrot. “I got a hard-on, and fell off my f****** perch.”
Gorgeous pea coat on a gorgeous man. Lets all just revel in this beautiful picture
-Much Love,
Your All American Gay
